So, after my ultrasound, my doc and I had a phone chat to figure out what the next step would be. She encouraged me to stay on the birth control pills. I told her I wasn’t interested because of the whole wanting to get pregnant thing. She admitted there really wasn’t anything she could do on her end, and referred me to a fertility specialist, who was able to get me in pretty quickly.
I had my first appointment with him yesterday, and let me say that it went much better than I would have expected. The doctor was extremely nice. He was also very straight forward in answering my questions and addressing my concerns.
We talked about my periods, and he confirmed that I likely do not ovulate regularly (something I could have told you, but I guess not everyone would know that?) which puts my husband and I at a disadvantage over women who do.
He wants me to schedule a contrast dye procedure (which he told me would probably suck, and that it would be best if I had someone to drive me home after) to see if my fallopian tubes are open or blocked.
However, he said that because I’ve never had an STD or any kind of pelvic infection or surgery, there is very little chance they would be blocked. He also did another vaginal ultrasound while I was there. Having him do my ultrasound made me realize, once again, how AWFUL that other doctor was. He was able to find both of my ovaries immediately, and said that my uterus looked great. He also said that my ovaries do not look like PCOS ovaries, so he doubts that I have PCOS. This time I was able to celebrate the good news because, guess what, there was NO PAIN when he did the ultrasound, as opposed to the 30 minute cervical torture from the other doctor.
Anyway.
He had my husband (who came with me) give a semen sample for analysis and said that as long as everything comes back good from both tests (my dye test and his semen analysis), he expects that we could have good results with a clomid treatment. I appreciated that he was up front about the cost of the treatment ($500 per round, which includes medicine, doctor’s visits and ultrasounds) and the likelihood of the success (about a 1 in 5 chance). I also liked that he listened to everything I had to say and took it all into account when developing a game plan. He never once accused me of having hypertension or diabetes, and didn’t tell me that my inconsistent ovulation since my early teen years was because of my current weight.
I left the appointment feeling optimistic and hopeful. For the first time in about 2 years, I really think there is a chance of my husband and I getting pregnant. I also know that over the last 3 years we’ve been trying I’ve had a lot of heartache. Each month we weren’t able to get pregnant felt like a total failure, and I spent at least one day each month bawling. I’m worried that if we still fail, even with medical intervention, it will be harder than it was before. I think that I blamed a lot of it on bad timing (or we didn’t try the right position, or the moon wasn’t full, or some other ridiculous excuse etc etc etc), but I won’t have those excuses any more. Now if it doesn’t happen, not only will it feel like my fault (everything was right, why couldn’t I get with the program?) but I will also feel guilty for the waste of money.
*sigh*
But I’m ready. Yesterday was one more big step down our journey to baby.
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